Marriage: A Sacred Bond Now at Risk

Marriage is considered a bond of seven lifetimes—a sacred relationship ordained by God, an unbreakable connection spanning births. These are beliefs we’ve long held and continue to uphold. In our Sanatan Dharma, marriage holds a revered place, which is why its rituals are deeply rooted in tradition. Even in love marriages, these customs are often meticulously followed to ensure a harmonious and enduring union.

A Tragic Tale That Questions Tradition

However, harrowing tales like that of Atul Subhash, a young software engineer from Bangalore, not only shake us to the core but also raise profound questions about the institution of marriage. Despite being a capable individual with a promising career, Atul’s marriage failed. The legal system, with its myriad conditions for divorce, became an insurmountable hurdle. The process, involving laws, police, courts, lawyers, and finances, often tilts in favor of women, leaving men like Atul overwhelmed. Unable to bear the mounting demands and endless court dates, Atul chose to end his life.

Not an Isolated Case

Atul’s story is not isolated. Countless similar cases are pending in courts across the country, with numerous married individuals entangled in legal battles. There’s a surge in divorce lawyers specializing in securing hefty alimony and maintenance. While we’ve enacted numerous laws to protect women, their safety remains elusive, and men find themselves increasingly vulnerable.

Cultural Pride vs. Marital Decline

Our pride in our religion, culture, and traditions is undeniable. Yet, the institution of marriage appears to be deteriorating. Divorce rates, once minimal, have surged to 5%, reaching up to 30% in urban areas like Delhi, Mumbai, and Bangalore. This trend is escalating annually. In Delhi NCR alone, approximately 750,000 marriages occurred this season, involving expenditures of thousands of crores. When juxtaposed with divorce statistics, the figures are staggering.

Beyond Divorce: A Life of Complications

The implications extend beyond divorce. Issues like alimony and child custody become lifelong concerns. Even those who don’t divorce may not necessarily lead fulfilling marital lives. The fear induced by incidents like Atul’s may deter many young men from marrying. Among the educated and well-settled, there’s a noticeable reluctance towards marriage, with the average marrying age surpassing 35. This hesitation is predominantly observed among men.

From Seven Lifetimes to Seven Years

Marriage, once considered a bond for seven lifetimes, now struggles to guarantee even seven years. Our society, once critical of Western cultural practices, now seems to be adopting them. Unfortunately, we’re neglecting the very institution that forms the bedrock of any civilization. Instead of addressing the underlying issues, we often choose to ignore them, hoping they’ll resolve on their own.

The Need for Honest Introspection

It’s imperative to introspect and identify the inherent flaws in our marital system. While it emphasizes procreation, lineage, and family honor, elements like love and mutual respect often take a backseat. The accumulation of grievances, emotional suppression, financial dependencies, and strained relationships have culminated in a distorted reality, perpetuated by our very system.

Contradictions in Practice and Values

The truth is, we’re uncertain about our desires and the kind of society we envision. Our actions often contradict our teachings, leading to confusion and unintended consequences. This lack of clarity poses a threat to our very existence, urging us to reflect and act before it’s too late.

(The author is a journalist.)